What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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