When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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