Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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