Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops