ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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