What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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a black man pays his child support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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