Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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