What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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