What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Jesus Christ

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops