Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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