What's just not right? Left

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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