What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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