Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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