What separates man from animal? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Justin beiber comment if u get it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops