If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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A bar walks into a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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