- Anti Joke

A whole 'nother.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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