A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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13 =B you just learned something

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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9/11 my birthday

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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i'm hard

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops