question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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