What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops