How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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