What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do I hate? people

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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