What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

David Cameron

Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

If you're happy and you know it get a life

whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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