What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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