Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops