Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops