- Anti Joke

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

civil rights

What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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