A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

penisvaginaorgasm

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

Canadians

what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

how do you call someone? use a phone

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

hey guys im gay

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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