What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...