A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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