Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops