An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Your mums a potato

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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