What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Faithful men.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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