roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops