A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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