why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red poo is poo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops