how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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