What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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