What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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well use a tissue!

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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