''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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