Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Women's rights

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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