Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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whats black? the colour

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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ever tried african food? they neither

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops