Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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there was once a jew

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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