What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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