What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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He--Hey guys

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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