How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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