Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Your mums a potato

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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