What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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