How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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The child was fired from his job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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