What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +33

asdasdasdasd

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops