Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops