What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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