my penis

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

I had 99 problems Solved them all

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...