Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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b

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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24

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops