Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dwarf Shortage

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My cat just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops