How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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