Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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This isn't funny.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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