Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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There's my tractor.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops