My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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