The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Brain fart

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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