Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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Where's my baby??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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