See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +24

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops